Founded 2000


Golf Slang


Golf has always had its own language, but below are some of my favourites I have heard over the years.......



A Sally Gunnell

Ugly but runs well

A Paula Radcliffe

Not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but will run for miles

A Condom

Safe, but didn’t feel really good

A Giraffe's Arse

High and Shittie

A Glenn Miller

Kept low and didn’t make it over the water

A Yasser Arafat

Ugly and in the sand

A Gerry Adams

A Provisional

An O J Simpson

Got away with it

A Princess Grace

Should have taken a driver

A Michael Jackson

Gradually fading

A Douglas Bader

Looked good in the air but didn’t have the legs

A Ken Livingstone

Way off left

A Jean-Marie Le Pen

Too far right

An Arsene Wenger

Everyone saw where it went but you



A Kate Winslet

A little bit fat, but otherwise perfect

A Kate Moss

A bit thin

A Rodney King

Over Clubbed

An Arthur Scargill

A great strike but a poor result

A son-in-law

Not what you wanted but it’ll do



An Eva Braun

Picked up in the bunker

A Saddam Hussain

Go from bunker to bunker

A Chuck Berry

(In the trees) no particular place to go

A Red October

Underwater and you won’t find it



A Cuban

Ball needed one more revolution

On the Dance Floor..

On the Putting Green....

...but a long way from the Band

....but in three putt range

A Salman Rushdie

A putt that is impossible to read

A Rock Hudson

Thought it was straight but it wasn’t

A Dennis Wise

A nasty five footer

A Diego Maradona

A very nasty five footer