THE HEMISPHERE CUP
14th Hemisphere Cup – Castletown, Isle of Man
May 16th/17th, 2013
Warm Welcome in the Isle of Man
The 14th Hemisphere Cup was a great success with great weather, a great course and great hospitality greeting those that attended. Though only spending roughly 48 hours on the Island it was possible to rack up a great many highlights to take home with us.
Hemisphere Cup Highlights (18 – One for each hole)
1. The Interim Manager
Reflecting the same situation where Alex Fergusons presence was omnipotent over David Moyes and everything he did, David had handed over the captaincy to Andrew but was back and seen as bringing the glory years to the South. Would David approve of Andy’s selections? Would there be a hair dryer in the locker room? Would David stay awake past the coffee and mints? Big shoes to follow……
2. Golfers Nipple
With finely trained athletes competing hard for two days you can always expect to get some injuries (not including those inflicted in the bar). Medics were slightly surprised though to have to treat the first case of Hemisphere Cup Golfers Nipple! No one likes to chafe and following extensive treatment Bronson was able to pick up two points for his team. It reminds us of a similar brute of nature, Buck Shelford, a man who also put his body on the line with the story of him returning to the field of play after having his ripped scrotum stitched on the sidelines during the infamous “Battle of Nantes” in 1986. Both colossuses of their respective games.
3. Lady Golfer
Whilst we are on Golfers Nipple……there was talk for the first time of allowing the fairer sex to join the Hemisphere Cup. Was this brought on by a sudden waking up to gender politics, sexual discrimination and the continued outcry for tournaments such as the Hemisphere Cup and The Open to not go to male only clubs? No. This was brought on by a copy of Lady Golfer in the clubhouse with Sandra Gal on the cover. Never say Never.
4. Lesson from Bronson
I must personally thank Bronson for the swing tip on the Friday morning (don’t grip the shit out of the club whilst you are swinging). This was indeed a valuable contribution to my own improved performance on the Friday afternoon. However, it would have been better to have had the tip before the13th tee by which stage I had lost 7&6.
5. Jose Maria Olazaburns
Not since the Ryder Cup in 1987 at Muirfiled Village have we seen such an outpouring of joy and dancing as we saw from David Burns. Who would have thought he was such a silken hipped dancer.
No one knows where he came from, and no one is entirely sure where he went. But when we needed him he was there. Jed was our taxi and tour guide for the island. Without seeming to have anything better to do he drove us around and dropped us off in town and recommended pubs and places to eat..
mag·nust·ized (mgnust-tz ed)
tr.v. mag·net·ize, mag·nust·iz·ing, mag·nus·iz·es
1. To come up against the Swedish Swinger when he is on form and using all his shots
2. To be confronted with a torrent of Swedish swearwords after a gold shot: Sarge was magnustized .
8. Ollies Putt
How big was Ollies putt to halve his match with Andy? Like all good stories it has grown in length and difficulty with the passing of the hours/days/years. It was about 40 feet, up a slope, with early left to right break, then needing to follow a needle ridge, followed by a gentle fade from right to left over the last few feet, before finally dying perfectly into the hole…….or something like that.
9. All the way from Australia
Talk about commitment and dedication. Never missed a match. Never intends to miss a match. Top notch performance from david.
10. Scrum time
Golf is a game of high values. We do not need referees in the Hemisphere Cup. That can’t be said of another of our favourite sports, rugby. We can all watch the same action and draw different conclusion on who did what, rightly or wrongly, and castigate the referee when his decision is different to our own. And in all of this, the most difficult area to referee is the scrum. So how do we show hard it is to referee? Answer: have a scrum of our own in the bar. History does not record who won the scrum though the front row weights would not have looked out of place in an International.
Brilliant! See any photos from Castletown to check……
12. The Mount Murray Volcano
Mount Murray hotel was the choice for accommodation on the island and was comfortable and clean. The highlight of the hotel though was the spa with its Volcano water jets. Dave B loved letting the water jets cleanse his nether regions.
13. The Beach Shot
One of the benefits of playing links golf is that it is often near the sea and hence a beach. The benefits of a beach is that it gives you ample opportunity for finding a wayward golf shot. Pete felt obliged at the 5th to use the beach, but was not the only one.
14. Bent Cup
Not since Dean Richards and John Jeffrey trashed the Calcutta Cup has there been such abuse to one of sport’s most famous cups. The circumstances are not entirely clear, but the cup now has a distinct lean.
15. Rainbow drinks
The nightlife in Douglas was, in a word, odd. Islands often have their own personality and this was no exception. Difficult to describe but the drinks were nice
After many years service my shoes fell apart playing the 4th on the final round. They will be sadly missed.
17. John Terry
Is there any event that John Terry is not happy to join in and take some of the credit? Despite not hitting a single shot during the event, fans were surprised to see John Terry turning up at the Champions Dinner and joining the team photo shoot.
18. Is this the way to Amarillo?
Some of nature’s best kept secrets only come out at night. Some only come out at night after imbibing copious quantities of alcohol. Whatever the circumstances and however rare, it is important sometimes to capture these events on film for posterity. Whilst the rest of the hotel was asleep……
The Match Summary
Round 1 – Fourballs (Thursday PM)
The South start confidently and look like taking all three points. Dave B and Pete though use their shots on the final few holes wisely and come back from 1 down with 3 to play to beat Andy and Bronson 2up.
Round 2 – Fourballs (Friday AM)
Scoring is reversed in the morning Fourballs. Bronson gives Pete a dog licence in a genuine thrashing. However, strong performances from the rest of the Northern team mean that it is all square heading into the singles.
Round 3 – Singles (Friday PM)
It all goes down to the wire with three matches going down the 18th after relatively comfortable wins for Pete and Bronson over Magnus and Dave B respectively. There is nothing to separate Ollie and Andy and Mike and Brandon who both halve their matches on the 18th. It is all down to the last match and in always tight game Sarge comes out on top against David 1up. Very, very close.
So in the end it was 5 points to the South and 6 points to the North.
David remains the competitions highest points scorer with 25 points. Mike has won 22.5 for the North.
The Captains Cup
The Captains Cup was awarded to Bronson Dreyer who despite being on the losing side was again in fine form (Golfers Nipple aside).